Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
These tits shall not be calmed
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
