sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
