I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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