No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
