dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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