Pants 0. Shit 1.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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