i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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