It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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