Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Green mimosas i think yes
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
