so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
