Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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