I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize