super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
