Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
