so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
