Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
