so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
