Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
