trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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