I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
