I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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