shes about as inviting as chlamydia
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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