He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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