Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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