i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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