i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize