I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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