Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize