An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
