You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
