Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Just pee around me
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
