some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
3pm strippers are depressing
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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