We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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