I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
