He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I love you.
Bad choice
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
