we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
it's like iHOP with fire
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
