I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
so let's talk penis.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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