I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
