im about as happy as oj after his trial
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
