You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
