even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
