Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
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