You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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