Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
