He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
