(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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