i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize