i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
