Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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