she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
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