You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
