I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He better not be in your backpack
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
