found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
