Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I don't want my vagina anymore.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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