I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize