If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
