i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
