Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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