She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize