I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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