He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
