if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
