Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You took a bar mat shot.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
