Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
