Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
