this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
