no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Your cock deserves a montage
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize
