so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
